


Lemme Smash

by DeadlyNova



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Cortez II, Drabble, Humor, M/M, vaguely described sex acts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:37:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyNova/pseuds/DeadlyNova
Summary: Russel tried to imagine himself as a pretty dignified man, but all that flew out the window every time he felt 2-D's hands on him and heard the dirty things he whispered in his ear.OR2-D and Russel's fun fun fun times are rudely interrupted by an unwelcome guest.





	Lemme Smash

**Author's Note:**

> So a bird flew into my bedroom the other day.

Russel couldn't believe his luck.

This was the first time they had been alone in, what was it, two weeks? That's what it had felt like, anyway. With constant product deals and interviews and house parties now that Murdoc was back in the picture(not to mention all of the people coming by to ask them _what the hell_ had happened), it was a wonder any of them got any rest.

So when he and 'D had finally gotten some time _alone_ , _together,_ to _take care of business_ , Russel was ecstatic. He wasn't as insatiable as his boyfriend was when it came to sex, but he was a grown ass man with a hot-as-hell boyfriend who was nearby 24/7, and man, did that cause him a lot of frustration recently.

And of course, that's as far as his luck went. _Getting_ the free time.

Because, now, just as they were getting to the good part, it was ruined.

By a fucking _bird_.

* * *

That's right, a _bird_.

Russel's night was ruined by a _bird_.

It had all started out so well, too.

They'd gotten home and immediately retired to Russel's bedroom. Russel had headed in first, and 2-D was behind him, and he supposed that's where his greatest mistake was.

Because his boyfriend did not pay the closest attention to things at the best of times, much less when he was seconds away from getting laid.

2-D didn't shut the door all the way.

* * *

They'd wasted no time in getting straight to the motherfuckin' point. They'd been all over each other the second that Russel's back hit the bed, and, to be honest, he didn't remember either of them undressing. But here they were, mere minutes later, fuckin' like a couple of rabbits.

Russel tried to imagine himself as a pretty dignified man, but all that flew out the window every time he felt 2-D's hands on him and heard the dirty things he whispered in his ear.

* * *

 

They were smack dab in the middle of the good part when it had happened.

A loud _thump_ against the door, followed by it being _flung_ the rest of the way open, and a black feathery _beast_ shooting through the room, thudding against the opposite wall and flying around erratically.

"What the _fuck_?!" Russel all but screamed. 2-D frantically turned his head to look at the bird before slowly turning back towards Russel and continuing.

"'D, there's a crow in here." Russel gritted his teeth, looking up at his boyfriend through narrowed eyes.

"Yea?" 2-D didn't seem to care at all.

"So, we need to do somethin' about it."

"S' fine, Russ." 2-D smiled down at him, and after a particularly hard thrust Russel might've been inclined to agree with him about ignoring the problem, but then the damn bird flew right at them, flapping its wings and hitting them both in the face.

2-D screamed and fell back, swatting at the air in front of him, and Russel shielded his face from the blows.

"I don't-" Shit, he almost got a feather in his mouth. "think it's so-" Shit, he did get a feather in his mouth. "fine after all, is it?"

2-D was curled into a ball at the opposite end of the bed, barely peeking out from between his arms to see what was going on.

* * *

Neither of them heard the loud footsteps clamoring across the hall until Murdoc was in the room, grabbing at the crow and cursing when it nicked him with its claws, but managing to keep his hold on it anyway.

He didn't seem even phased in the slightest that they were both naked and had clearly been having sex seconds before.

"Why the _fuck_ is there a _crow_ in here, man?" Russel asked incredulously. He'd have probably found it in himself to be more angry if he wasn't still incredibly confused.

"I caught the bloody thing to replace Cortez. Wouldn't'a done it if I'd known it'd be this much of a pain the arse." He looked peeved, like he'd been chasing around that fuckin' bird for hours, and he probably had. Served him right for bringing a wild animal into their house.

"It's fuckin' wild, dumbass! It ain't gonna obey ya like some domestic pet!"

"Well how the bloody hell was I supposed to know that?!"

"It's common fuckin' sense, Muds!"

* * *

Neither of them noticed that the crow was managing to wiggle itself out of Murdoc's grip until it flew out of his arms and directly into 2-D's face, causing him to yelp and fall backwards off the bed.

Russel let out a growl and snatched the damn bird out of the air, shoving it back into Murdoc's hands.

"You're gonna take that stupid fuckin' bird and put it in a cage, or I'll fuckin' stuff it and shove it up your ass."

* * *

Russel was pissed. His night? Ruined. His boner? Gone. 2-D? Probably unconscious. His room? Probably covered in bird shit.

This was not a good day.

Murdoc stomped out of the room, grumbling under his breath, and not bothering to shut the door behind him. Russel groaned and ran his hand down his face.

He leaned over the side of the bed, staring down at 2-D, who was now sitting up on the floor and rubbing his head.

"You okay, baby?"

"M' fine, Russ." 2-D reached an arm out to him, and Russel yanked him back up onto the bed.

* * *

Neither of them were really in the mood anymore.

"I can't believe that idiot brought a wild crow into the house."

2-D chuckled. "Yea."

"Sorry that he ruined our night like that."

"S' awright, Russ! It'll make a good story, yea?" 2-D grinned.

"Maybe when I'm not mad enough to go wring his neck."

2-D chuckled again. "That'd make a good story, too." 


End file.
